I knew this day would come

Today is a big day for my family - I knew it would come. It is one that I have been expecting for 18 years, and yet I am still not ready for it. I am excited and anxious, worried and sad. I am also proud. You see, very soon I am dropping my beautiful baby girl (who is neither a baby nor a girl in the child-sense) off at college. It seems far too soon. I know it is not.

From her first struggling premature breaths to her beautifully belting out songs on the stage, she has captivated us. She has these amazing, beautiful eyes that filled her face as an infant and now, just draw you in to their blue depths. She has a smile that lights up her face and a very (I mean VERY) distinctive laugh that you cannot help but laugh along with her. She has a generous, kind heart. She has a passion for little kids that she has had since she was barely out of infancy. Little kids have a passion for her too; she’s kinda like a celebrity in the preschool hallway of our church. Her other passions include singing and theatre (yes, that is how she would want me to spell it, thank you very much spellcheck). Fortunately for her, she did not inherit my singing ability, she can actually carry a tune! Music and singing is so important to her, that there is a good chance that she will break out into song when you speak to her. It will make sense though, as your words will be reflected back to you in lyrics. There is also a bit of sassiness to her (which is probably great for her acting); she used to bully her cousin with it when she was two, but now uses mostly to defend herself (or to come home and use it on me to tell me what she should have said to defend herself). But, she is confident and sure of who she is as a person. She won’t compromise herself to suit the crowd. I am so impressed that she is like this at such a young age. She chooses joy and believes in the power of laughter. She has faced some pretty tough struggles, and suffers from near constant pain in the form of migraines, but she always presents a smile and perseveres. In fact, persevere is her favorite word. It has been since she found out what it meant in first grade. This isn’t to say that she hasn’t wanted to give up, but her amazing faith always helps her to persist. It makes me think of the comic her grandfather kept on his fridge for years:

So while I am not prepared as I sit here and remember every moment of her childhood, I hope and pray that I have prepared her, this precious gift God blessed me with to love and bring to adulthood. I hope that I have followed His plan for me as her mother so that she would be equipped for His plans for her. He is bigger than me though, thankfully, so I know that He always provides. Looking back, those little moments seem to mean the most. Did I spend enough time just rocking her when she was little? Did I read to her enough? Is it ok that she still likes to do bunny ears? Should I have encouraged her to try more things? Did I give her enough attention? Will she remember to take out the garbage? Did I fully teach her responsibility and the importance of hard work? Will she starve or burn down her dorm when she tries to cook? Will her roommate be able to handle her singing and OCD characteristics? Wait, did I cause her OCD?

I know that I am only a part of her preparation though and I am so thankful for all the family, friends, teachers, coaches, directors, youth leaders, and other adults who have such an amazing impact on her life. They have all helped shape this beautiful, intelligent, brave, strong in faith, kind, loving, full of laughter woman and I will always be grateful. God also placed in her life some amazing friends; I hope she never loses them and knows how important it will be now to put effort into those relationships. 

 

There is so much actually that I would like to say to her, but I can’t seem to put that into words right now. Every time I try, it makes the moment so much more real. For now, I will say: You can do this! Don’t hide in your room: meet new people, try new things, absorb and learn, do not be afraid to put yourself out there for you are amazing. Have fun, but be smart. Don’t forget to pray and brush your teeth. And always know that I love you forever, for always, no matter what!

So today I will send her off knowing that I gave her roots and that she will not only fly or even soar, but she will defy gravity.

If you need me at any point today, I will be on campus crying and laughing and probably crying some more. 

Because this is about my girl who thinks in song, I leave you with these (feel free to cry with me):

I'm heeeere . . . . (said in singsong voice of course)

So I decided to start a blog. I’m not sure why, but here it is nonetheless. I don’t really know what it will be about because I’m not really sure what I am about. Well, O.K.  that’s not really true. It’s just that, like most of us, there is no one particular thing that defines me (that is the cop-out way to say that I am not interesting enough to write on just one topic or maybe the polite way to say that I am scatter-brained?).  

ANYway . . . I am a Christian (I believe we are called to love and serve, NOT judge), I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a niece, a cousin, an aunt, and a friend (although not a very good one as I am terrible about keeping in touch – please don’t hate me as I do so love you all). I am a preschool teacher, a small group programmer at my church, a volunteer and a play advocate. I love music, books, tv shows, movies, and games – my interests in these areas vary as much as anything else about me. I enjoy traveling and meeting new people. I REALLY like to laugh and I am an easily distra . . . oh! I love this song! *pause for random dancing* (SPOON!) . . .  cted person. I try to exercise and stay healthy, but it is not my strong suit. Oh, and when I am not being suckered um I mean serving on various boards or playing mom’s taxi, I do enjoy cooking and baking (I am REALLY not fond of the dishes after though . . .).

So there is no real point to this blog. It will not be about anything in particular; it could be about everything at once. It definitely won’t be about nothing as Jerry Seinfeld has already done that quite well. I think the internet has kittens and puppies pretty well covered too, so it won’t be about that either. It might be a little of this or even a little of that. Whatever – in my world it’s all just nonsense and laughter.